Age 13, coat, size 3XL

"Why did you pick this one, honey? 3 XL?! And coats are expensive!" I exclaimed to my 11-year-old.

Instantly, I regretted my words, as his face fell.

"Well it was pretty much the only tag left on the tree! You said I could get one!"

Quickly I interjected, "No, honey, you are right. And if this 13 year old needs a coat, then we should help him. It's okay. We'll find him one." I reached out to give his arm a little squeeze.

I'm a jerk.

Each year, my son's elementary school puts a tree in the hallway with tags listing the needs and wishes of area families who need help over the holidays. We have participated in the past with similar trees. I usually pick something that fits into my errand circuit; a gift certificate to the grocery store, a readily available game, or something else that seems "easy." With the holiday whirlwind, I've tried to keep giving simple. This was NOT what I would have picked.

The spirit with which I had been giving was suddenly revealed to me as cheap and shallow. Clearly, the point of giving was not to contribute to "get it out of the way." A gift should have meaning or fill a need, regardless of convenience. I could spare some extra time to find this coat. It may cost more than I would have planned, but we could swing it. What if my thirteen-year-old was the one who needed the new coat, and I could not make it happen? The thought was sobering.

The next morning I logged onto the computer. How hard is it to find a size 3XL? The Kohl's site had several, but many were leather; not especially practical if this boy is the type that likes to play in the snow.

J.C. Penney had a parka that looked good for $59.99. By now, my fifth grade neighbor was over. She comes by on the days her mom travels, after her brothers go to school and her dad goes to work.

"What do you think? Navy?"

"Pink!" She cried gleefully, then, "Okay, no...navy blue."

"Yep...the khaki is pretty light, which gets dirty. Wait...no navy in 3 XL. How about cobalt? Or green?"

"Cobalt," she decided. I hit the buttons to finalize the order, using my 30% off coupon and store pick up to avoid delivery charges.

I thought of the family who lived somewhere nearby. The temperatures had dropped overnight from the 50s to the 30s again. The mist whipped our faces in the cold wind on the way to the bus stop. What clothing was protecting that boy today? Soon, young man, soon...

I'm glad my son picked that tag.

A Room of My Own

We'll see how this unfolds...